We all experience fear at some time in our lives. Natural fear about possible things e.g. fear of death…death is a reality therefore fear of death is not an unrealistic fear. There’s the fear of the unknown-again realistic. Fear of disease like cancer especially if symptoms are likely indicators or if a certain cancer has its history in your family line, can be a realistic fear. Natural fears are part of life and our body even has a physiological response to fear. Adrenalin is released when we feel afraid or threatened, enabling us to “fight or flee”. This is a God-given ability to do the supernatural in a situation where natural responses would be inadequate.

Then we have a completely unnatural, illogical, and unrealistic fear which is NOT of God and can consume us for an hour or a day or a lifetime. This fear is straight from our enemy.

My journey with fear began when my eldest daughter -who is now almost 21 and has left home and country and gone off to a faraway land to study Drama and Theatre- was just 7 years old. I heard the voice of the enemy telling me that she would die and I could do nothing about it. This happened while I was falling asleep and speaking quietly to God. The words were deliberate and clear and scared the living daylights out of me. I immediately called my brother in law who lives in the USA and is a pastor of a church there. His response was that God would never do that and fill me with this kind of fear about something so close to my heart. This was pure evil enemy tactics to take my focus of God and put it on that which I couldn’t control.

Another very real fear is the fear of losing control. This was that fear in its most terrifying form. I became a complete nutcase mother not allowing my child out of my sight, checking on her at school during the day, waiting outside her classroom after school, and basically stalking her!

Even at night, I would check on her a few times throughout the night. I lived in fear, eating it up and allowing it to fill my every sense and control my every moment.

My brother in law continued to pray for me and one day God gave him a vision of Alexia on a cake plate with a glass dome over her. This was God’s protection over her life. I held on to this picture but sadly held onto the fear with the other hand. It took about 5 years for me to gain the upper hand over this very unnatural and debilitating terror attack. Unfortunately, this was replaced by a fear of cancer which managed to convince me that I had cancer somewhere and everywhere! I didn’t know where but boy, was I going to find IT!

And so began my journey of blood tests, scans, etc. I went for every conceivable test, each one being THE ONE that would prove me right. One day I saw an advert for a free cancer screening at the Cancer Association to mark Cancer week. Of course, I went-this one, in my mind, would be IT!! On the way, I promised God that if it came back negative, I would let it go finally and put this unrealistic and ridiculous obsession behind me.

Our God has a fine sense of humor! I walked in with huge trepidation and feeling as though my legs were made of jelly. As I walked up to the receptionist, I stated that I was here for the free screening. She looked at me in a very funny way and said (with a straight face),” the screening is for prostate cancer”. I replied,” I don’t have one of those”. To which she replied,” No I  would be very surprised if you did…”

Game over,.That was the end of that fear and God showed me just how ridiculous I had become and how I had let this fear consume me to the point of complete absurdity.

A year or two ago my daughter, who drives herself around, told me that I need to let go as she was leaving for the UK soon and I won’t be able to track her there. Driving in our country is dangerous and the drivers show little or no respect for other drivers on the road. This is a reality and as a mom, I do worry when she is out and about.

One night while waiting for her to come home, God reminded me of my own mother and the level of faith she demonstrated. I used to be a child who went out all the time, misbehaved, and loved to come home at all hours. In those days we had no cell phones, tracking devices, or Ubers! My mom used to sleep like a log until I came home and woke her up to say I had arrived. Not once did I come home to find her fretting, pacing, or waiting up for me. When I asked her many years later how she did this, her answer was simple.”I handed you over to the Lord, asked Him to protect you, and went to sleep”! I am still striving for this level of trust!

Thinking about it, I realize that my mom had the right idea! When Alexia is out and about, I cannot be there all the time. I cannot hold her back from age-appropriate activities and I cannot send a bodyguard to watch over her. What I can do is to ask my Father to command His angels to protect her and believe that He loves her enough to do so.

How much easier our lives would be if we simply learned to trust God, to realize that He is exactly who He says He is and will do exactly what He says He will do.

Fear’s acronym is False Evidence Appearing Real. Let’s focus on the fact that it is false and live lives controlled by the Holy Spirit and not by fear.