How many times a day do you get into a verbal dispute with another human being?  Road rage is quite a thing in my country with unruly taxi drivers driving in lanes designated to cars traveling in the opposite direction ,going through red traffic lights, ignoring stop signs and generally every other rule and law implemented to ensure regulation on our roads! There is no way to describe South Africa’s taxi drivers and unless you are a South African you probably won’t understand! Needless to say, millions of commuters use this form of transport and somehow arrive safely at their destinations…God only knows how!

I am not without blame when it comes to road rage…my daughters will testify to my Afrikaner side coming out of my mouth when I get provoked on the road , have to stand in a unnecessarily long queue or just on a random bad day.

Who has the final word in your disputes? Is it the non vocal last word of a heavy sulk? Or perhaps the long verbal tirade full of choice words often beginning with the letter “F”?

Having the final word makes us believe that we are in control and all powerful. I beg to differ. I think that sometimes keeping quiet is a lot louder . Why do we feel that the last one who shouts before slamming the door is the one who directs the performance?
Imagine if Jesus had to throw out a tirade of verbal abuse when he as dragging His cross up the hill to Golgotha? Or what about when He stood before the crowd, thorny crown pressing into His forehead? That would have made me livid ,but He kept His mouth shut. Imagine that – the Holiest that Heaven had too offer being ridiculed , spat on and beaten to a pulp by the very humans beings that He lovingly created in His image -and not saying ONE word!

My temper is short. Often I don’t manage to stop the tirade of words that spew from my mouth. The times that I manage to actually take a breath ,I pray (usually while my opponent is verbally vomitting all over me ) and God gives me a peace that I really don’t understand and somehow I am able to keep my mouth shut. I always remember some wise person saying that words are like toothpaste. Once they are out of your mouth,  its impossible to take them back. A lot like trying to get squeezed toothpaste back in the tube!

A pause can come in handy when you’re in the middle of a situation that you could look back on as the moment that  your “famous last words” destroyed a precious relationship. Friends, marriage partners and even families have moments of intense frustration. If you’re anything like me,you play out situations in your head and when the final act comes up,you are well and truly prepared with the script played out and executed to perfection. Does this make me feel like I’ve stumped my opponent ? Maybe temporarily, but after a while the satisfaction goes and all I’m left with is bitter regret and a horrible memory of my words that have done their damage. Nothing you say after a barbed remark can take away the hurt caused. Remember that. Too often I have learnt that the hard way . Think before you speak. Count your words. Pause and reflect! All these tidbits of wisdom that we have all heard countless times are actually words worth remembering!

My last word is that the last word isn’t always the sweetest. Let someone else have that burden. Better yet,walk away so that neither one of you has to carry that !

“A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered” PROVERBS 17:27

“It is harder to make amends with an offended friend than to capture a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with iron bars.” PROVERBS 18:19