With Christmas and 2023 approaching, lots of Black Friday specials (in a country where we don’t even celebrate Thanksgiving- go figure), irresponsible driving after office parties, our levels of frustration, panic, fear and overwhelming emotions of all sorts are particularly heightened.

At the slightest provocation we find ourselves at a breaking point about to snap. What often follows is an unprecedented reaction that doesn’t quite match the trigger.

Imagine you have a thick rubber band surrounding the four corners of your safe place- kind of like a boxing ring with the rubber ropes that surround it. When we have a ‘boil over’ moment, we push hard against this band and it extends over the edge of our safety zone and into unsafe territory. The bands keep us from wandering off and getting lost there and pull us back to where we are secure once again. Never once is there a point of no return as long as we stay behind the band. This is how I envision the Grace of God! It stretches and brings us back time after time.

The beauty of this ‘Grace- rubber’ is that it is extremely durable, built to last and endure a lifetime of our destructive moments, constantly stretching and restoring, stretching and restoring.

As much as the rubber is durable, sometimes the force stretching it is not. Each time we allow ourselves to indulge in destructive behaviour, spew destructive comments or wallow in destructive self pity, we can create scar tissue that is not as malleable as the band protecting us. Scar tissue restricts us and often we end up finding our identity therein -I’m short tempered, not good in relationships, unstable, irrational…the list goes on an on.

The labels we wear are often based on the scars we bear.

I’m not sure we can ever have a full guarantee of a life with no destructive moments but I have found that the simple principles of STOP, BREATHE, RE-ASSESS and DISTRACT often go a long way to prevent an overflow of unhealthy reactions, overwhelming emotions and irretractable words.

I doubt that I will ever get it all right, but with GRACE, effort and a whole lot of prayer, I can see progress towards a lot less drama, guilt,shame and regret!

James 4:6 “But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

Hebrews 4:16 “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”