This morning as I struggle with the full surrender of a situation that is weighing heavily on my heart, I have felt all sorts of emotions ranging from a frantic hopelessness to a guilt that makes me squirm for not trusting as I’ve always told people to do. The “just trust God” pill that that we so often prescribe for everybody else is just not going down my throat!

As I sat in prayer this morning I realised that there are various levels of surrender. They are stages that some of us will go through while others manage to just hit the first stage and live out the wait in full peace.

I wish that I could say I was one of these Stage A people but as I’m not, let me share the understanding I received. Perhaps you will see yourself in one of these stages as I have and be gentler on yourself as I am trying to be!

The first is the A-game stage and is one of Absolute surrender. As I understand it, this is the beautiful ability of taking a situation to God, laying it down before Him, turning around and walking away in full peace and knowledge that He really is our Jehovah Jireh and that He will provide in this and every other need.

I remember seeing this ability to fully surrender in my dear mother. When I was a teenager and young adult, I used to enjoy going out – often to some rather choice places that nobody in their right adult mind would go to! In those days, with no cell phones or tracking apps, my mother would surrender me completely into God’s hands and then sleep like a bear in hibernation! I used to wake her when I got home but she never really woke up enough to register. It was only the next morning that she would know that I had arrived home safely the night before. She trusted God to take care of me and He just did- no questions asked.

The second stage of surrender is the one where we hand our “problem/ issue ” to God as one would hand over a box. As He reaches out to take it we still curl our fingers around our parcel not quite sure if He is able to make a way where we have been unsuccessful. There is a level of hope mixed with a distinct measure of doubt. I think this is where I am right now-longing to hand this burden over but at the same time nervous to lose my control which has actually got me nowhere! Here, if we do actually let go it’s one finger at a time that peels itself reluctantly from our box!

The third stage is that of stretching out our box of stuff but still holding tightly onto it. Our knuckles are white with the force of our grip and the chances of us letting go is zero.

I used to believe that this stage is where God would simply say “it’s either me or you” but today I realised that He’s a lot more gracious than that. I believe that this is when He gently places his hands over ours and agrees to carry the box with us until such time that we loosen our grip little by little and eventually allow Him to carry it alone. This is when breakthrough happens! We sometimes have to GROW in faith and trust. I really believe that God is gracious and kind enough to not take offence at our lack of faith but rather uses the opportunity to teach us and show us that He really is the faithful Father that He claims to be.

I’ve heard people say that faith is like a muscle that needs to be trained in order for it to grow. Today I realised that I am in that training process and as much as I wish my faith was fully mature and that I was able to always be in Stage A, I am not and yet He is still able.

The words of the song ‘He is more than able’ (see link below) by Elevation Worship (featuring Chandler a Moore and Tiffany Hudson) are what play in my mind today as I stretch out my arms and agree to carry this load with my God for a little while-just until my arms get tired.

https://youtu.be/dQ1xxoP7NJk?feature=shared

“Pour out all your worries and stress upon him and leave them there, for he always tenderly cares for you.”

1 Peter 5:7 TPT

https://bible.com/bible/1849/1pe.5.7.TPT

“Do not fear [anything], for I am with you; Do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, be assured I will help you; I will certainly take hold of you with My righteous right hand [a hand of justice, of power, of victory, of salvation].’”

Isaiah 41:10 AMP

https://bible.com/bible/1588/isa.41.10.AMP

“Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God. And the peace of God [that peace which reassures the heart, that peace] which transcends all understanding, [that peace which] stands guard over your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus [is yours]. And my God will liberally supply (fill until full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6-7, 19 AMP

https://bible.com/bible/1588/php.4.6-19.AMP

“When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you; your troubles will not overwhelm you. When you pass through fire, you will not be burned; the hard trials that come will not hurt you.”

Isaiah 43:2 GNT

“But his answer was: “My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak.” I am most happy, then, to be proud of my weaknesses, in order to feel the protection of Christ’s power over me.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12‬:‭9‬ ‭GNT‬‬

https://bible.com/bible/68/isa.43.2.GNT

Photo by Michael Belk