I’ve often listened to people, myself included, complain about the lack of responsibility, ability or wisdom exercised by others around them but in the very next moment step in and do whatever they can for that very same person. The need to compensate and do everything for a person can very easily lead us to a Saviour complex where we make ourselves believe that in order for others to function on any level they need us around! Its good to bear in mind that we do not grow smaller when those around us grow bigger.

The more I think about it, the more I realise that this is a real stronghold of pride where we actually believe that the world around us would fail dismally at all they do if we were not there to shelter them,enable them and treat them as completely helpless. The truth here is that its our own insecurities that refuse to allow another person to grow just in case they overtake us and don’t need us anymore.

What we complain about is the very thing that feeds our ego and keeps people small in our shade. Its uncomfortable to allow people to actually do for themselves what we’ve always done for them but its so empowering for them.

If we step back and sometimes allow discomfort we might see beautiful growth in people who really don’t need to be in our shade any longer. When we keep on compensating and enabling, we see little Bonsai trees where towering oaks should be standing . Accepting entitlement, always wanting to be the hero in everybody’s stories just keeps us feeling big and important while keeping those around us small and inferior. They grow comfortable being insignificant and we feel more and more needed. Enabling is the enemy of empowerment.

Keeping someone small to make me feel big is just that- I feel big but to really be big I have to allow others to grow and cheer them on even when it means causing a bit of discomfort.

A personal trainer tells you to do exercises that sometimes hurt and make you feel uncomfortable where the muscle has been stretched to its full capacity but over time that muscle grows and becomes strong . If the personal trainer were to keep us comfortable and even do the exercises for us, we would stay small and it would be a waste of time and money to go to the gym and pay the trainer.

It’s the stretch and flex that grows us into what God sees we can be-tall oaks planted and flourishing for His glory, not our own. Seeing the many strong trees around us that we have helped to grow is a lot more satisfying than seeing small tree stumps that we’ve cut down so they wouldn’t overshadow us.

My prayer today is that we would be builders of great men and women and not cultivators of small and helpless people.

“Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.” James 4:10

 Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,but whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night.That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers. Psalm 1:1-3

These are the “grumpers,” the bellyachers, grabbing for the biggest piece of the pie, talking big, saying anything they think will get them ahead. Jude 1:16 (Message)

“When pride comes [boiling up with an arrogant attitude of self-importance], then come dishonor and shame, But with the humble [the teachable who have been chiseled by trial and who have learned to walk humbly with God] there is wisdom and soundness of mind.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭11‬:‭2‬ ‭AMP‬‬