As I sit here this morning excited about all the wonderful things that the next few weeks hold, I am so aware that these are what make up my “buffet table”. The world is still reeling from Covid, the news is now full of the Ukrainian devastation, poverty is all around, friends are sick with scary diagnoses and I myself am struggling with stuff of my own – YET -here is this beautifully prepared table of blessing in front of me.

In the presence of my enemies and surrounded by this worlds “stuff”, I have this banquet of beautiful moments set up for me as a demonstration of Gods lavish love towards me.

Jesus said “In this world you will have trouble”. That is so evident at the moment in every corner of the globe. But then He said ‘“ Fear not for I have overcome the world “.

There cannot be colourful flowers without smelly fertilizer, nor birth without birthing pain. In the middle of the worlds’ mess- today– I can see my feast laid out for me, perfectly prepared to the smallest detail and I’m choosing to sit myself down in this moment and enjoy it!

I am like no other.

The amazing thing about me is that I have characteristics and traits that not another person in this world has. There might be similarities to other people but all in all I am a unique creation. If you think this applies only to me, think again! You too are an absolute one of a kind, gloriously unique, multi -faceted, creatively crafted masterpiece of a passionate and very artistic God! We have each been designed to reflect glimpses of Him.

While we have all the unique physical characteristics, DNA and a pretty much standard set of organs, limbs and blood vessels, there is one thing in each of us that is exactly the same throughout all humankind.

The void or empty space that cannot be seen on any kind of medical diagnostic imaging system is the same in each of our souls-created solely for the fulfilling of God’s Spirit.

A soul in turmoil is always a soul that is either empty or filled with something that does not fit.

We all have it and we all sense it when it’s empty and when it’s full. There are so many ways to fill it but only one thing will fit perfectly. I’ve see people wear themselves out trying to fill the void with so many different things- material goods, exercise, “spiritual” stuff, competition, striving for perfection, relationships, substance addictions, social media….the list is endless! Sadly the strain and effort is all for nothing. That space was designed to be filled only with that which connects us to God-His Holy Spirit in us.

If you’ve ever tried building a puzzle you will know all about trying in frustration to find the piece you’re looking for amidst hundreds that look the same but are not an exact fit! Each puzzle piece can only fit one particular place in your puzzle. Its either the right piece or its not-theres no in-between!

Its the same with wearing a pair of shoes that don’t fit. If they are too big my foot will be constantly clenched to keep the shoe on and if they are too small I will be walking with a limp because my toes are squashed. We cannot fill the space in our souls with ill fitting fillers! Badly fitting garments are as uncomfortable as badly fitting stuffing in the God-shaped voids of our souls.

This void is evidence of a God who created us for relationship with Himself. The Bible tells us that He is a jealous God- not in the needy and envious way- He will not share His space in our lives with anything or anybody else.

We stuff, we push, we agonise and we fret. We fantasise,we imagine, we strive and then we start again and do the same things over and over again getting the same result each and every time. Ah, but the mind-blowing peace that we experience when the penny drops that we have been looking in all the wrong places and placing our hopes in all the wrong things! When we finally succumb to the Holy Spirit and allow that river of peace to flow into every nook and cranny of that soul void, filling it as it was always meant to be filled- that’s when all those pieces of us that have been broken come together to form a beautiful picture of restoration and wholeness.

As the MasterCard advertisement says, ” That is priceless”!

Mark 8:36 NLT

And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?

Psalms 103:1-5 NIV

Praise the LORD, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Jeremiah 31:25 NKJV

For I have satiated the weary soul, and I have replenished every sorrowful soul.”

Matthew 22:37 NKJV

Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’

“People watching” is now an actual word in the Oxford dictionary. Its definition refers to the action of watching people in a public place for enjoyment.

#Myhonestlife #Exposed #Thisisme

The internet has become our public place and social media is an open field of specimens to watch. We follow people because we are curious about their lives and sometimes even feel as though we are a part of these lives that are shared so openly. Who is dating who, who travelled where, who broke up with who, who initiated the breakup…. all this is no longer private but displayed in all its glorious splendour with many selfies from every angle or in its ugly murkiness with a pageful of emojis as a means of attracting as much attention as possible and getting as many “likes” and “views” as they can. We become fascinated by the choices, spending, sins, pasttimes, partners, indulgences, holidays and relationships of random people. Other peoples lives can become such a deadly obsession for us that we become completely enthralled as though we were watching a TV programme with daily episodes that we will then mull over and believe we are a part of.

#Egoli #Itsmyobsession #Realvsfake

I remember years ago while working in an office environment, there was a lady who was completely addicted to an TV soapy called Egoli. Each day she would give us a full synopsis of the previous days’ episode, becoming angry or emotional at what had been acted out. The problem was that for her this was no longer a fictitious story but had become “real life”. One of the villain characters once came into the office to book a flight and she wanted to attack him. His on screen character was so real to her and she had allowed herself to become so fully engaged in the drama being acted out that she had real and personal feelings towards this actor.

#Movieofmylife #Isitadream #Smokeandmirrors

I’ve seen this with Instagram and I myself have often got all riled up because of what somebody has posted. We see a life of a movie script but more often than not the real story behind the very shiny post is very different. Those posts are meant to portray something that is to be revered and envied.

#Openandhonest #Justwantyoutoknow #overshare

Other times, the opposite is posted. A heartwrenching post or video of a traumatic PERSONAL experience splayed across your phone screen is meant to cause you to feel pity or to be impressed with their openness and honesty.

#Theworldofselfies #Behindthelens #tellmelies

Social media is designed to cause curiosity and to make people become their own gods.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not about to delete my Instagram profile but I’m also at the point where I’ve recognised these traits of ‘people watching’ in myself. Like my former colleague who lived vicariously through the lives and loves of the Egoli characters, I too get sometimes dangerously fascinated with the lives and loves of people that I follow.

#painvspeace #Eyeswideopen #turmoilandanguish

Funny how the result is always sense of turmoil, envy,irritation or annoyance but never one of peace.

#Iwantfame #Allaboutme #Pleaselike

Perhaps its time to take my eyes off of the highs and lows of a fame-hungry world of Instagram subscribers and focus on the things that are real and uplifting. Things that do bring peace in an upside-down world and not more turmoil.

Each one of us has a God given purpose and for many that purpose will not need to be broadcast but rather done in secret where the only applause and recognition will be from God Himself. Is that enough for us though, or do we crave an audience to all our glorious moments and hashtags?

Today I will try to focus on the road God has laid out ahead of me, to not be distracted by the nonsense of social media and to seek His approval only- without any selfies!

Today is only 24 hours long and that can be spent looking down at my phone screen or looking up to my Heavenly Father and being filled with the wonder of Him and not the fantasies of Instagram. My daughters often take a social media vacation or fast. Instead of being traumatised by their loss of knowledge of peoples lives, it has brought them such a sense of ease NOT knowing what people are doing as well as a freedom from the hype.

#healthyheart #interestnotobsession

Enjoy social media but take it with a pinch of salt. It can be a fun tool to learn,communicate and sometimes to be encouraged or inspired by, but don’t allow it to govern your life and your opinions. You have a bigger purpose ahead of you. Reach for that as you put down your phone!

#lastwords #Bringitbacktoscripture

#Philippians4:8

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

Walking through fires was always on the cards. Being burnt was not .

Shadrach, Meshack and Abednego found that out in a real and scary way. They also found out that the promise in Isaiah 43:2 was for them!

God never called us to duck and dive away from hot and fiery trials but He equipped us with His armour- a protective fireman’s suit that will allow us to walk unharmed through the middle of those fires and extinguish them. We have within us a source of Living Water more powerful than any fireman’s hose, that will annihilate every flame from the pit of Hell.

Whether it be in our marriages, workplace, families or just a daily walk through life…

We can either set fires or extinguish them.

What will you choose to pick up today?

The matches or the firesuit?

“When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you; your troubles will not overwhelm you. When you pass through fire, you will not be burnt; the hard trials that come will not hurt you.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:2‬ ‭GNBUK‬‬

“In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.” Ephesians 6:16 NIV

…So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.” Daniel 3:26-27 NIV

I’m sure you’re familiar with the story of some kids who were told to play in a great big field. Most of them huddled in the middle of the field for fear of getting lost if they ventured too far or because they had no idea what was really out there waiting to gobble them up!

One day a fence was erected closing off an area in which the kids could play safely. They happily went all the way up to the fence, some even climbing bravely up on the fence to look what was beyond. What changed was not the terrain they were playing on, nor the actual place that they were given to play. What was different now was the safety of a boundary that not only prevented them going too far but also prevented unwelcome entities coming in.

Some might argue that boundaries are stifling adventure and freedom. I would like to show you a glimpse from the other side of this argument.

What is a boundary and why are they necessary?

I recently found myself in a situation that caused me discomfort in a friendship. I realised a bit too late that unless I set up a boundary, the friend in question was not going to respond to my needs in the friendship. What was happening was a frustration that was building up with each and every encounter we had. Her needs were being met and I was walking away feeling depleted and angry. I had to set up a boundary line in order to salvage the relationship long term- if I had allowed things to carry on this friendship would be destroyed forever without a chance to heal.

It is never easy to tell a person that their behaviour makes you uncomfortable especially if that behaviour has been allowed for a long period of time. Hard, however does not mean impossible!

My self respect and my needs are determined only by me- please do not make the mistake of assuming the rest of the world will be eager and willing to accommodate you if you don’t accommodate yourself and make your needs important.

There are ways and means to setting up boundaries that do not involve anger, rudeness or cruelty. The person or behaviour you are drawing the boundary line in front of will more than likely take offence no matter how you speak your truth. Remember- its YOUR truth and so how you experience something cannot be dictated to you by anybody else. Also remember that they are people with feelings, emotions and will also have a very definite opinion of how true your truth is. Respect them as you would have them respect you. Stick to what you want to say and perhaps avoid a debate about who is right and who is wrong. This is not about right and wrong. Its about you and your tolerance levels, what affects you negatively and how it make you feel.

‘No’ is the hardest word

Maintaining strong boundary lines takes practice. A strong boundary line means knowing your personal limitations, expectations, needs and tolerance levels. It means setting a boundary and sticking to it until such time that YOU decide it can be shifted or relaxed. It means not being coerced into behaviour that makes you uncomfortable or removing boundaries that make you feel safe. Above all it means learning the power of “NO”, while being as inoffensive as possible. It also means being able to deal with and accept the possible offence and response from the person you’re addressing.

I grew up believing that saying “No” was rude and especially around adults. We were often encouraged to greet over zealously affectionate relatives with a hug and would be reprimanded if we rejected the display of affection. Complaining of the need to vomit usually solved that quickly!

I have taught my kids that instinct is a God given, inbuilt mechanism that protects us and guides us. Never ever try to shut down a small voice inside warning you against something or someone. A danger is not necessarily physical. Emotional and psychological threats can be just as damaging.

I think many of our relational problems could be solved by listening to our gut and acting accordingly. To learn to identify threats to our physical, emotional or spiritual selves could set us up for a lot less miseries and whole lot more victories.

I am not afraid to say that I believe God Himself authorises and endorses our boundaries. The Bible tells us to guard our hearts because everything we do flows from it (Proverbs 4:23) . If you look at Matthew 14:23 we see that Jesus Himself withdrew to be alone. When we step away from a relationship, an activity or a social event for our own peace of mind and heart we do so in order to avoid a situation that could become far more difficult further down the line.

Think of a person- lets say Jill, who has had a week of late nights and is about to collapse from exhaustion. A family member suggests coming over for dinner as they will be in town for one night only. Does Jill agree to have the family member over for dinner or does she politely decline knowing that she does not have the energy for a social visit tonight? If she agrees to the visit she may just cause a big issue in her health but her family member will be happy. If she declines, she will be refereshed with an early night but risks the repercussions of offending a member of her family. There is no right or wrong answer-only the option to perhaps look beyond the needs of others when we genuinely have nothing left to give.

In his book Boundaries,Dr Henry Cloud refers to setting personal boundaries as being the “narrow gate” as opposed to the “broad gate of destruction” where no boundaries are in place. He says this way leads to destruction . He states that deciding to set boundaries is difficult because it requires decision making and confrontation, which in turn may cause pain to someone. He also distinguishes between causing hurt and causing harm- establishing a personal boundary may cause the former but rarely the latter.

I recently read Living Refreshed by Michelle Haswell on leadership in ministry. In the book she writes a lot on personal emotional and spiritual health and ways to keep from running on empty. One thing she says is ” boundaries are absolutely neccesary if we are to thrive, love deeply and finish strong.” She also speaks about the importance of learning to say a gracious “no”.

Your boundaries are set in place by you and you alone. That means that some may be there forever and some only for a season. You determine which stay, which change and which will one day go altogether. Just remember that you are not a mean, evil or revolting human being for doing what you need to do to remain strong and emotionally healthy- what can make you seem awful is the way you deliver the boundary. Be kind but do what you have to do with grace. Remember, one day you will be on the receiving end of somebody else’s boundary line. Proceed with caution but exercise determination and a steadfast spirit free from fear, always behaving with a kindness and compassion- both to the person receiving the boundary and to yourself creating it.

Investing in relationships long term brings great reward and return. Often a relationship becomes comfortable and familiar – out of the blue comes a shinier and more exciting person and off we go leaving the familiar behind for the potential of the shiny and new which isn’t always as beautiful as it looks. We leave a wreckage of bewildered cast- offs behind us as we continually strive to be surrounded by what’s new and exciting. When life gets hard, the current crowd often doesn’t know us enough to really fill a need we have in that moment and we then look back at our “old clothes pile” hoping someone will stand up and come alongside us but they have moved on . Do you really want to keep changing your “people”?

It’s good to make new friends and to grow but if your “ bests” are always changing then perhaps it’s time to look inwards and re- evaluate why you’re never just satisfied with where you are and who’s there with you . Remember they are there to stand alongside you but you are also there to stand alongside them .

I see so many changing social circles, partnerships in business, romantic partners and every other kind of partnership . Each time “this is the one “ turns into “ what or who is next ? ”.

We are in a time where everything is fast and whatever we want is at our fingertips. We type our desire into a search engine, type in a few credit card details and it’s ours.

It’s easy to see why we are never satisfied with the now when we really don’t have to settle for anything. The next best thing is always right there.

I remember when we bought a new TV a few years ago. It had all the latest technology – half of which we never figured out and still don’t use -only to find out a few months later that our TV was outdated and apparently needed to be upgraded! Needless to say the TV stayed put and is still used as a TV and functions perfectly well.

Cars, TV’s, cellphones, running shoes,sunglasses and now people! All exchangeable but only the last one is the true loss if it has value to us.

Think before you look for shiny in relationships. Fix what’s broken, invest time and energy to find out what you can do to make a friendship stand the test of tine.

Some of my most satisfying relationships go back to when I was a pre- teen and are still going strong today. These people knew me before I became who I am today and with them I have no need to impress or be impressed. They are a strong and reliable fixture in my life and I’m so grateful for each and every one who has stood by me and shared their journeys with me. They aren’t the shiny and new models but the reliable and steadfast rocks in my life.

Look around you and see who has nurtured you and where you find comfort and acceptance .Ask yourself if you offer those things in return? Do you really want to give that up for the exciting and new possibilities?

The Bible says in Proverbs 27:9 that “ Sweet friendships refresh the soul and awaken our hearts with joy, for good friends are like the anointing oil that yields the fragrant incense of God’s presence.”

My prayer for you today is that you won’t forgo the fragrance of that friendship for the heady scent of the unfamiliar .

If we weren’t living in a time such as this with covid , devastation- economical, health wise and in every way – we wouldn’t be able to see the miracles we are seeing.

What God is doing cannot blend into the scenery of comfort, wellbeing and prosperity as it so often does when all seems right in our lives. You cannot see a white circle drawn on a white page.

Gods miracles in this time are as bright as they’ve ever been but now we get to see them clearly in contrast to the darkness in our world.

His mercy is more visible now than ever before. It stands out and shouts from the midst of the turmoil that He is still able and willing to do beautiful things on our behalf. I see it as a black tornado that is gaining momentum and in the middle is a beautiful bright contrasting space where God is at work performing all sorts of amazing works!

Healings, deliverances, hearts turning or returning to Him, marriages being renewed, churches growing through online interaction …. God is working in the middle of the storm and it’s the storm that is allowing us to see what He’s doing.

“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:19‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“Never doubt God’s mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this. He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request, your most unbelievable dream, and exceed your wildest imagination! He will outdo them all, for his miraculous power constantly energizes you.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭3:20‬ ‭TPT‬‬

“He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.”
‭‭Job‬ ‭5:9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Because of this, I will once again astound these hypocrites with amazing wonders. The wisdom of the wise will pass away, and the intelligence of the intelligent will disappear.””
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭29:14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Do you remember those brightly coloured shape sorting toys where each shape had a hole that it fitted into? I clearly remember the frustration of my kids when they tried unsuccessfully to hammer a rectangle shape into a round hole. One child in particular would declare that the toy ” wasn’t working”. When she managed to get the shape into correct hole, the toy was suddenly fixed!

We all have a God created shape.Not just the physical shape but so much more. The way we think, respond to stimuli, the way we speak, show emotion, figure things out. The way we see ourselves and the world around us, the way we handle obstacles and challenges. The way we communicate, stand up for ourselves, process information, react to offences. These are just some of the many things that shape us.

There is a very interesting test that categorises our personalities into 9 different types. These can be mixed with other numbers. This is quite accurate but it cannot be 100% so. We are each created in the image of God, unique and completely loved by Him. We cannot be defined by a number on a man made test.

Whatever our personalities, characteristics or unique quirks- there is one sure thing: You are the only You that God created. Your “you-ness” is as unique as your DNA.

If you are trying to squeeze yourself into a space or type that you were not designed for, take a step back and remember this : in order for a square peg to fit into a round hole, the corners would be the first bits that would have to be removed. Thereafter, possibly the flat sides. By the time it fits , it will have to closely resemble a round shape or be cut into a much smaller square which will get into the hole but will not fit it properly.

The message here is clear- what are you taking off of who you are to fit into a place where you were never designed to be? Or a circle friends that you were never meant to be a part of? How long will it be until you realise that you cannot function properly without those unique and discarded parts of YOU? What sacrifice are you prepared to make to be someone other than You?

Masquerading as a character is fine for a moment or two but to make it a lifestyle will be exhausting even if you believe the lie you’ve created. Truth has a funny way of catching up to us no matter how hard we try to deny it. Its in your every cell. You can run as far and as fast as you like but you will never get away from your real identity or from the One who created it.

Find where you are meant to be. Search for the people who will love and accept the you with all your parts intact. Do not compromise when it comes to authenticity. Clean out the closet of things/ideals/friends that do not belong in your life. Be brutal and make clean breaks – then breathe deeply and begin this new year with new goals, walking paths that were specially designed for your feet and in the company of the right people who will inspire you to be the best version of YOU- everything intact!

Yet you, Lord, are our Father.
    We are the clay, YOU are the potter;
    we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made. Psalm 139:13-14

For we are His WORKMANSHIP [His own master work, a work of art], created in Christ Jesus….Ephesians 2:10

We literally race through life to get to the finished line – do we forget that the finished line is actually death?

We want to strive for success, money, happiness, best this, most impressive that. We race and race to get to what we think the outside world will applaud or what will scratch the itch.

The question I asked myself today is this , “ When last did I really STOP and savor a moment”? When last did I actually remove myself from the treadmill we live to run on, and smell, breathe, exist for or in a moment? I don’t mean quickly stop, take a photo, Instagram it or say a few nice words about it and move on while trying to balance everything we have to worry about in that moment with a split second of what’s ‘nice’ around us. I mean a complete sealing off a moment where what happened before, what’s happening during or what will happen afterwards is not taking space in my thinking and stealing from the moment that’s been given to me to simply enjoy. I mean a moment where I can fully enjoy what God Himself has presented before me for the sole purpose of my pleasure.

A few days ago we had a magnificent storm in Johannesburg. The puddles were plentiful and deep, the sound of the rolling thunder was powerful and the smell! Oh my gosh – the smell of a highveld storm is pure, raw and heady!

In that moment as I breathed it in (through my window), for a moment I considered going out and jumping every puddle that I could see. What stopped me though was the fear of judgement and name calling. Isn’t it sad that we are so restricted from pure pleasure by the fear of what other people will say and throw at us?

Taking time out – which by the way, Jesus Himself did often, is not a crime! We berate ourselves if we take time out to refresh and reboot our weary souls as if it makes us look weak and ineffective. If we’re not doing that, we lie about our time out because who knows what other people will say about us? What if somebody actually calls us lazy or God forbid childish or immature in the case of my puddle jumping ?

Why do we strive so much for outside affirmation from people that in the bigger scheme of things are so unimportant and do not control our destiny?

What if those moments are really a gift wrapped moment from a Father who wants you to take sheer pleasure in His gift and enjoy that which He has set before you- the proverbial table that He has laid out for you as described in Psalm 23?

I really believe that it’s time to stop and literally smell the roses, the thunderstorms, wiggle our toes in the sand, jump in the puddles, laugh and dance like there is nobody watching, live like there is nobody judging. Spend quality time with your loved ones – they appreciate that so much more than what you can buy them with the money you make on the treadmill. After all, we have one life that God has given us to live in abundance – not strife, exhaustion and a medal at the end of if we finish with what the world calls success and achievement. When that final moment comes- will we be counting our pennies or the cost we paid to accumulate them?

“You teach me the way of life. In your presence is total celebration. Beautiful things are always in your right hand.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭16:11‬ ‭CEB‬‬