God Ideas

I wonder who of you have read the story of The Princess and the Pea? It’s a story that I used to love my grandmother to read to me. The story is about a Princess who is forced to sleep on a mattress that is uncomfortable. She calls for dozens and dozens of mattresses to be piled on top to cover up the lumpy mattress but still feels the lump which turns out to be a small pea. The Princess was so sensitive and used to the best and most comfortable bedding that a small pea covered in plenty of mattresses felt like a stone in her back.

When thinking about this story, I had to ask myself how sensitive I still am to unfavorable things or have I become dangerously desensitized to the things that are displeasing to God?
Normal conversations that we have daily with various people are covered in expletives and bombed with blasphemy. How many times just this week or even just today alone have you heard that famous word beginning with F? Or worse still, how many times have you heard a person casually using “Jesus Christ” as an expression and not in worshipful terms? Did you notice? What still has the power shock you or to make your skin crawl or your ears burn? How much is ok and when does ok move either to unnoticed or too much?
Then there are the billboards that we drive past on many of our regular routes, often with our kids in the car. What they advertise make me cringe! I used to try to distract my children furiously when they were younger and had started to read everything and anything just to practice their new found skill… You know which ones I’m talking about…! Just recently I saw one near my house advertising special battery operated and very colorful adult toys – with pictures! Is this really necessary? It seems as though our ability to be shocked is getting less and less with each billboard, magazine or conversation.

I used to work at a company years ago where language was x rated amongst the staff. I went on maternity leave and when I came back I told my husband how shocked I was at the language used. He answered,  “you didn’t even realize that you sounded the same – it’s only now that you’ve been away from it that its noticeable to you”! I was mortified and surprised that I had become so comfortable in that way of speaking and even adopted it as my own just by becoming fully desensitized and completely immersed in the culture!  You know the old adage of putting a frog in cold water and slowly heating it up -the frog falls asleep not even knowing it is being boiled to death!

Nothing is considered inappropriate anymore. Not AshleyMaddison.com , not vulgar behavior, not blasphemy, not blatant sexual deviances, NOTHING!  It seems as though what was once forbidden and shamefully hidden is now applauded and proudly displayed.

Here is the question I asked myself: When do we feel that we actually need to come up for air and get away? Does your very soul crave cleanliness and goodness? I was told by a dear friend recently that they felt dirty after a general conversation with a friend just because of the content of the conversation and the language used. Do we still have the ability to feel anything at all?

I think it’s like being on a diet of bread, bread, and more bread. Do you become so satisfied with bread that you never crave the goodness of a fresh plate of vegetables or a bowl of colorful fruit?

When I was young the standard punishment for use of “bad” words was to wash out your mouth with soap or to eat a spoon of chilli! I’m not sure how we would wash out our souls though. The Bible says that whats in our heart comes out of our mouth.

I would like to challenge you to guard your heart in the coming week and to become sensitive to that which is offensive.  This is not to say that you should wage war with every person who speaks with a foul mouth. It’s just an exercise to sensitise ourselves. The world is always telling us to become desensitized to everything – I am suggesting the opposite. Just see if you notice what you hear and see around you and if you feel anything or nothing about it. No judgement, just an experiment! Perhaps its time to take note of the stone in your shoe that you no longer feel because it’s been there for so long. Maybe we can fine tune our ears, eyes and most importantly our souls to hear, see and experience filth and purity and not to blur the edges of both so that eventually they look like one and not like the two complete extremes that they are!

“If you grow a healthy tree, you’ll pick healthy fruit. If you grow a diseased tree, you’ll pick worm-eaten fruit. The fruit tells you about the tree”.
Matthew 12:33

A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart ”   Luke 6:45

How many times a day do you get into a verbal dispute with another human being?  Road rage is quite a thing in my country with unruly taxi drivers driving in lanes designated to cars traveling in the opposite direction ,going through red traffic lights, ignoring stop signs and generally every other rule and law implemented to ensure regulation on our roads! There is no way to describe South Africa’s taxi drivers and unless you are a South African you probably won’t understand! Needless to say, millions of commuters use this form of transport and somehow arrive safely at their destinations…God only knows how!

I am not without blame when it comes to road rage…my daughters will testify to my Afrikaner side coming out of my mouth when I get provoked on the road , have to stand in a unnecessarily long queue or just on a random bad day.

Who has the final word in your disputes? Is it the non vocal last word of a heavy sulk? Or perhaps the long verbal tirade full of choice words often beginning with the letter “F”?

Having the final word makes us believe that we are in control and all powerful. I beg to differ. I think that sometimes keeping quiet is a lot louder . Why do we feel that the last one who shouts before slamming the door is the one who directs the performance?
Imagine if Jesus had to throw out a tirade of verbal abuse when he as dragging His cross up the hill to Golgotha? Or what about when He stood before the crowd, thorny crown pressing into His forehead? That would have made me livid ,but He kept His mouth shut. Imagine that – the Holiest that Heaven had too offer being ridiculed , spat on and beaten to a pulp by the very humans beings that He lovingly created in His image -and not saying ONE word!

My temper is short. Often I don’t manage to stop the tirade of words that spew from my mouth. The times that I manage to actually take a breath ,I pray (usually while my opponent is verbally vomitting all over me ) and God gives me a peace that I really don’t understand and somehow I am able to keep my mouth shut. I always remember some wise person saying that words are like toothpaste. Once they are out of your mouth,  its impossible to take them back. A lot like trying to get squeezed toothpaste back in the tube!

A pause can come in handy when you’re in the middle of a situation that you could look back on as the moment that  your “famous last words” destroyed a precious relationship. Friends, marriage partners and even families have moments of intense frustration. If you’re anything like me,you play out situations in your head and when the final act comes up,you are well and truly prepared with the script played out and executed to perfection. Does this make me feel like I’ve stumped my opponent ? Maybe temporarily, but after a while the satisfaction goes and all I’m left with is bitter regret and a horrible memory of my words that have done their damage. Nothing you say after a barbed remark can take away the hurt caused. Remember that. Too often I have learnt that the hard way . Think before you speak. Count your words. Pause and reflect! All these tidbits of wisdom that we have all heard countless times are actually words worth remembering!

My last word is that the last word isn’t always the sweetest. Let someone else have that burden. Better yet,walk away so that neither one of you has to carry that !

“A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered” PROVERBS 17:27

“It is harder to make amends with an offended friend than to capture a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with iron bars.” PROVERBS 18:19

Every parent’s worst nightmare is not knowing where their young child is. Alexia once hid away inside a 4 sided clothing rail in a store…she thought it was a fun trick to play until her very frantic mother found her. Somehow it wasn’t as funny after that!
When I was about 3 years old I decided I wanted to be a bride. I found a princess “dress up” dress, an old curtain that I wore on my head as a veil and donned my ” Sunday school and special occasion” sandals. All I needed was a bunch of flowers because no self-respecting bride would walk down the aisle without a pretty bouquet! I knew that the neighbors a few houses down the street had a beautiful bed of orange flowers, so I set off to go and pick some. I never thought of telling my mother who discovered I was missing a few minutes later! She ran out into the street as the kind neighbor was walking back with me- not before taking a photo of me in my bridal get up though! I came across the photo a few days ago whilst going through some old albums.

What do you dress up as? What outfit do you cleverly put on to portray another character that makes you feel less of who you are and more of who you would like to be? We all do it . I may not dress up as a bride anymore, probably because I have had my very own real fairytale BIG FAT GREEK wedding to my handsome prince! I just dress up in other outfits now. The super confident, ” got it all together” mother, the calm serene woman, the super-hero wife….There are many personas that I wear on a daily basis. We live in a “fake it till you make it” society. What would happen if we showed the world our makeup-less face?

The good news is that in Gods sight we are still as naked as the day we arrived blue and screaming into this world. All our crazy notions, delusions of grandeur, put on personalities, brilliant self confidence and fake smiles are transparent to Him who made each single cell in our bodies. The best part of all this is that when He looks at us, He doesn’t gasp in horror or declare us to be too far gone for grace. God loves us in our most awful moments. He sees right through our most convincing performances and He loves us completely all the time and every day!

No doubt you’ve  heard the story of The Emperors New Clothes. This silly fool believed he was dressed in the most beautiful fine garments and that the rest of the world was looking at him with the greatest admiration. The truth was that he was wearing nothing and they were laughing at him.

I wonder how often we are the emperor in real life? Perhaps it’s time to take off the makeup that hides us- the foundation that covers who we really are, the eyeshadow that covers up the loneliness in our eyes and the blusher that masks how pale we feel in comparison to those around us. Remember that they probably stood in front of their mirror this morning taking as long to perfect their image as you did!

O Lord, you have examined my heart
    and know everything about me.
 
You know when I sit down or stand up.
    You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.

You see me when I travel
    and when I rest at home.
    You know everything I do.

You know what I am going to say
    even before I say it, Lord.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. 

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
    as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
 
You saw me before I was born

Psalm 139: 1-4,13-16

Last week I had a conversation in which God highlighted something so profound for me. A friend of mine’s son recently had a really serious health scare that was potentially life threatening. Whilst the doctor was going over the possible causes for his condition, the parents were listening with more and more dread as each possible disease was explained by the doctor. The implications of each one were worse than the last one and by the end of the conversation, they didn’t know what to think! The doctor then asked the boy if he had any questions. His simple response was to ask when the procedure that had been necessary to save his life could be reversed! He didn’t ask the scary questions about each disease that could be invading his body. He didn’t ask about treatments, lifespan or anything else that were probably the first things the parents would ask…He asked about a reversal of his procedure. Simple and to the point.

When she told me this, I had an “aha” moment. This beautiful child was completely secure in the knowledge that his mom and dad were responsible for worrying about the scary details. He could rest assured that they would panic if panic was necessary. He could enjoy the outcome knowing that his mom and dad are the secure wall around him. They will take care of all things concerning him,  because he is their son. This child KNEW he was in safe hands because his parents had brought him up to feel safe at all times. He knows that as long as they are with him, they will fight the all the enemies that threaten his life from ugly teachers to deadly diseases. He is safe and he knows this with every fiber of his being. That is not by chance, but by a daily reassurance from them in the way they care for him and his sister.

How often do we cry out to God to help us in our circumstances, to deliver us from evil, to boost our finances, heal our diseases, intervene in our marriages etc etc?

Do we not know that the Mighty King of Heaven has already taken care of EVERYTHING that comes our way? If you are secure in the knowledge that He is your Father then this is your daily reality and you can rest in the assurance that He is your safe place, the One who watches over you and deals with all your enemies, whatever they may look like!

If we belong to Him, we are under His cover. I recently said to Juliana that if there is a dangerous person prowling the streets, I would keep her safely inside my walls of my property. Those that choose to walk around in the neighborhood are willingly putting themselves at risk and are without protection. It’s the same with God. If we choose to be within His protection we are safe. If however, we choose to wander outside and on our own mission, we put ourselves at risk and cannot blame Him for whatever happens.

It’s easy to blame God when things go wrong. He never moved. He has always been right there with His arms open to bring you in  close to Him. It’s you who chose to walk away. Don’t go too far. It’s a scary world out there without the armor of His grace!

I will never (under any circumstances) desert you nor leave you without support, nor will I in any degree leave you helpless, nor will I forsake you or let you down or relax my hold on you”      Hebrews 13:5 (Amplified Bible)

The Lord himself watches over you!
The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. The sun will not harm you by day,nor the moon at night.  Psalm 121:5-6

Alexia used to have hairstyle phases. One such phase was the two ponytails with a gold Alice band. The ponytails were completely skew, the Alice band was sitting on her forehead but it looked perfect..to her! If I tried to help in any way, her reply was a very angry,”I do it self”! This was the standard answer to almost anything she was offered help with. From the moment she could talk,  she used this expression! Alexia is now almost 21 and although she doesn’t  quite say ” I do it self”!, she is still “doing it self”!

It’s not a bad thing to be independent, to be able and capable to do things for ourselves and to be competent to handle situations using our own resources. In fact, this has served my daughter well living on her own so far away from home.

The problem comes in when we believe that on our own and through our own strength , we can do all things. The Bible teaches us that through CHRIST we can do all things. It doesn’t say “through positive thinking or willpower” I can do all things!

I have a friend who is battling a terrible addiction and has tried several times to overcome it. The excuses are the classic ones.

“I can go without, I just don’t really want to “

” I am a nicer person when I’m drunk”,

“I’m stressed and it relaxes me”,

“I only drink because I have it in the house”  ,

‘I’m lonely and its company”.

I’m sure you’ve all heard each excuse an addict gives themselves to account for their addiction. Perhaps you have even used a few yourself.  I know I have when cigarettes were my thing!

The problem with trying to “do it self” is that we more than likely just cannot. When a stressful situation arises, we need our crutch, our best friend and lifelong companion, our addiction.

Addiction isn’t just substance abuse. Addiction to approval is one that many people battle with. A lot of addictions are admired by the world. Take the addiction of exercise, dieting (nothing tastes as good as skinny looks), and the addiction to work.

If an activity is consuming you even when you’re not actively doing it, red lights should be flashing!

Here is the good news… Each day is DAY ONE with God! He doesn’t look at your messed up yesterday , declare you to be a lost cause and move on. If you can imagine a pure white carpet before you every morning when you put your feet on the floor, that is what DAY ONE looks like. A fresh and new day to begin from scratch. We have the choice daily to wear muddy boots on the carpet or to walk in clean socks. Looking back at the end of each day we can see what the condition of our carpet looks like. The next morning, however, it looks like the carpet cleaning fairies came and delivered a clean beautiful white rug all over again. Sometimes there are patches of beige on the carpet as a reminder of the hurt we have caused ourselves. This isn’t really a bad thing as its often the memories of yesterday that motivate our tomorrow!

An addiction that we try to overcome in our own strength is like being released from prison but leaving the prison door open for when we feel like visiting. You cannot visit without feeling that familiarity to your old area of captivity! We think that if we go sit in the cell for a while and leave when we want to its all going to be ok.

It’s not!

Sooner or later that door will slam shut with you inside of it and you will be back in captivity.  The handcuffs will be your reminder that you should have looked at the ugly pictures on the walls of the cell and run as fast as you could. God alone can shut the door of your prison with you on the outside. Isn’t it maybe time for you to allow Him to do what you can never ever do?  To give you the freedom to fly like an eagle, high and free and ALIVE!

Today is DAY ONE!

He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint!

Isaiah 40: 29-31

When Juliana was little and she had something important to say, she would take my face in her two chubby little hands and turn it so I was looking her in the eye. She would then lean in close and tell me whatever was on her mind. This way she could make sure that there was no distraction and that she was well and truly heard! To this day and at the age of almost sweet 16 , she still checks to see if I’m listening and if I can’t repeat what she’s  said, there is hell to pay!

She wants to be heard. Heck, I want to be heard! My husband is not a man who listens actively and I often want to grab his head and hold it just like my baby girl used to do…

I am an active talker and this makes my prayer life very interesting! If there was a hidden device recording God and I in my morning prayer time, I’m sure it would make for some interesting entertainment!  Just ask my husband if you really want to know how my mouth almost comes off of my face when I am excited about something or if I really want something badly enough ! The poor man has a hard time keeping up with what I babble at him so he often just looks down and nods with a truly perplexed look on his precious face!

Did you know that God is an active listener, FULLY engaged in whatever prayer is being offered up to Him by anyone and at any time? I noticed the other day that if Alexia is on the phone talking to me and Juliana is in the room adding to our conversation and Tasos walks in and starts talking too, I have a really hard time listening to any of them, let alone fully engaging with them. That’s only three people. I know that it is important to not only hear my family but to really listen to them . Its hard when the voices are coming from all around you. I cannot actively listen and engage with each member of my family in a way that makes them certain that I have taken  in every word that they have spoken, thoughtfully digested it and come up with an appropriate response if I am not really taking note of everything they say, as well as their body language and facial expressions.

God loves to engage with you. He delights in every cry from your heart, every delightful whoop that bursts from your gut- as you do a small victory dance while punching the air -and every request that you bring hopeful before Him. He listens to you as if you were His one and only child, His precious beloved YOU ! He knows everything that you’re going say before it finds its way out of your mouth and He is familiar with every nuance and expression. He sees beyond the stuff ups, the lies we tell others as well as ourselves and the wall we put up  for protection. He sees and He knows. Best of all, He delights in everything about you. He sees potential in you that you haven’t even thought about yet and He listens…..Yes, He listens. I can picture His Holy nail scarred hands holding my face and looking into my eyes , fully, lovingly and sometimes amusingly engaging with me as if there was absolutely no place He’d rather be and no face He’d rather be looking into!

Please don’t let anything stop you pouring out everything that’s on your heart to Him. That would be robbing  both of you. Imagine if your kids didn’t want to involve you in their everyday life . He created you and me for the sole purpose of relationship. He is not too busy / mad at you / only available to priests and rabbi’s / uninterested or far away in Heaven!  He is waiting for you.  Eager and fully engaged ! What are you waiting for?

I love the Lord because He hears my voice and my prayer for   mercy. Because He bends down to listen,I will pray as long as I have breath! Psalm 116:1-2

If I had a penny for every time I’ve heard that I sound just like my sister,that we look so much like our mother or that I have my dad’s feet I would be one very rich woman! We are born into a family carrying traits and characteristics of the people in that family. You won’t find a Asian child born to two black parents or a white child born to two Asian parents! We resemble our parents and siblings and often even distant relatives in a peculiar yet comfortingly familiar way. We inherit both good and bad characteristics.

I read a very thought provoking book by Pastor Paul Scanlon called I Am Not My Father. In this book he writes about how his father was a distant and harsh member of his family . He always believed that he would be too because he was his fathers son . His journey to avoiding the traits that he could have inherited is moving and powerful.

I am a proud mom of two daughters and without any intervention or interference from anywhere my girls will inherit certain ways and characteristics from both me and their father . Alexia has her dad’s eyes and determination to succeed . She also has my sense of humour.. Juliana has her dad’s  logic and his muscular legs (lucky girl!)….  She also inherited my ability to read people and situations  . These cannot change and no amount of praying will make any difference !

I remember when my girls were little they used to mimic me putting on make-up and walking in heels ( in the days when I still could! ) . When Juliana was born,Alexia often went off without saying a word and changed her sisters diaper just because she had watched me do it so many times. The funny thing was she did it really well! My husband tried a few times but the child almost slipped out of his grip with all the vaseline  that he plastered all over her !

How we deal with anger and frustration , language we use, judgements we make about people , how we treat people both in our social and economic circles and outside of them… all of these things are seen and unconciously mimicked by our children. Think about the example of racism. How many racist people do you know of who came from completedly non racist parents?

What then are we teaching our children about God? What did we learn from our parents about God? Are we happy with what we are passing on ? We as parents play a massive role in our children’s spiritual inheritance. I will not leave Alexia and Juliana’s physical health to chance by feeding them Mc D every day or let them go off in summer clothes when its -5deg outside. I make sure that physically they have the best chance at living healthy lives. I also wouldn’t put them on a railway track and hope they don’t get hit by a train!

Why then would I take a chance with their spiritual health? I often hear parents saying they will allow their kids to choose their religion when they are older and won’t try to influence them while they are young. This is not interfering but rather irresponsibility . I want my kids to grow up knowing they have a human father who loves them to the moon and back. I also want them to know they have a Father God who loves them even more! If we know that then our kids will know it too. There is no question that our children learn most things from us parents.They also form opinions and ideals based on what they learn at home. I often hear my mother coming out of my mouth…and I often hear me coming out of Juliana’s mouth. Sometimes that is flattering. Sometimes not…

Alexia said to me recently that she doesn’t know how people survive without relying on God for everything, knowing His hand is on them,His protection and guidance are theirs and that He is just a prayer away at all times. This didn’t happen by chance. This was because we took the time to nurture her and show her how to live life with Him in the driver’s seat.  She learnt about worship, prayer and honoring God all through her childhood , as did her sister. They both see our faith  in action every day . My daughters  are living what they learnt,just as they learnt to walk,talk and feed themselves.

Imagine putting a bowl and a spoon in front of a 1 year old and saying ,”the cereal is in the cupboard ,off you go. Oh and Bon appetite!”.

Imagine handing over your car keys to your child and telling them to drive to school without a license or any driving lessons and just crossing your fingers and hoping for the best !

Moms and Dads- take the time to teach your children that God loves them. Teach them to follow you as you follow Him. Don’t hope for the best- lead them in the best way. You didn’t leave them to learn any other vital life skills on their own while cheering from the grandstands.

As Alexia says..”SELAH”. Pause and think on these things.

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older,they will not leave it.
Proverbs 22

When I was about 7 years old and living in Europe,we used to catch the bus to school each morning. There were three sisters who caught the same bus as us and every morning when they got on,they used to walk past us in a cloud of perfume. We aptly gave them the title of the Perfume Sisters. My kids probably bear the same name at school!
In our family there is one thing that is a non negotiable item….perfume. From my husband to me to our two beautiful children,perfume is a must. We do not leave home without a good spray of fragrance covering us!

What is the fragrance that we give off? It can be Chanel #5 one day, Frederic Malle’s Extraordinaire on another and my favorite, YSL’s Saharienne on another day. But do these linger for more than a few hours? Is there a fragrance that lingers days,weeks or even years after we leave a room?
I like to think that I leave behind me the fragrance of Christ . That His love and compassion coats me and wafts around me and is evident to all who I encounter.

Recently we stayed at the Langham hotel in London. When you walk into the hotel,there is a distinct smell of tuber roses. Because we love the smell so much,we purchased the room fragrance as well as a few bottles of the essence to burn at home. Now, every time I go upstairs,I am reminded of the Langham in my own TV room!
Imagine if when people see you they are reminded of Jesus? Imagine if His glorious fragrance hovered around you and was in everyone’s nostrils long after you said goodbye to them?

The Bible speaks of the sweet fragrance of Christ, and that it is the perfume that is above all perfumes,the Name above all names. Sweet,inviting ,forgiving ,gentle ,compassionate ,loving. The kind of smell that draws people to you,makes them feel accepted and leaves them looking forward to another encounter with you.

Is this the fragrance that surrounds you? The smell that you give off? To those who are hungry for God,either knowingly or not ,it is the only thing that will draw them into a relationship with the One who will set them free,just as He set you free.

St Francis of Assisi said “ At all times preach Christ,when necessary,use words”. My interpretation is “At all times SMELL like Christ,and sometimes use words..

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to the one an aroma from death to death, to the other an aroma from life to life And who is adequate for these things?   2 Corinthians 2:14-16

We all experience fear at some time in our lives. Natural fear about possible things e.g. fear of death…death is a reality therefore fear of death is not an unrealistic fear. There’s the fear of the unknown-again realistic. Fear of disease like cancer especially if symptoms are likely indicators or if a certain cancer has its history in your family line, can be a realistic fear. Natural fears are part of life and our body even has a physiological response to fear. Adrenalin is released when we feel afraid or threatened, enabling us to “fight or flee”. This is a God-given ability to do the supernatural in a situation where natural responses would be inadequate.

Then we have a completely unnatural, illogical, and unrealistic fear which is NOT of God and can consume us for an hour or a day or a lifetime. This fear is straight from our enemy.

My journey with fear began when my eldest daughter -who is now almost 21 and has left home and country and gone off to a faraway land to study Drama and Theatre- was just 7 years old. I heard the voice of the enemy telling me that she would die and I could do nothing about it. This happened while I was falling asleep and speaking quietly to God. The words were deliberate and clear and scared the living daylights out of me. I immediately called my brother in law who lives in the USA and is a pastor of a church there. His response was that God would never do that and fill me with this kind of fear about something so close to my heart. This was pure evil enemy tactics to take my focus of God and put it on that which I couldn’t control.

Another very real fear is the fear of losing control. This was that fear in its most terrifying form. I became a complete nutcase mother not allowing my child out of my sight, checking on her at school during the day, waiting outside her classroom after school, and basically stalking her!

Even at night, I would check on her a few times throughout the night. I lived in fear, eating it up and allowing it to fill my every sense and control my every moment.

My brother in law continued to pray for me and one day God gave him a vision of Alexia on a cake plate with a glass dome over her. This was God’s protection over her life. I held on to this picture but sadly held onto the fear with the other hand. It took about 5 years for me to gain the upper hand over this very unnatural and debilitating terror attack. Unfortunately, this was replaced by a fear of cancer which managed to convince me that I had cancer somewhere and everywhere! I didn’t know where but boy, was I going to find IT!

And so began my journey of blood tests, scans, etc. I went for every conceivable test, each one being THE ONE that would prove me right. One day I saw an advert for a free cancer screening at the Cancer Association to mark Cancer week. Of course, I went-this one, in my mind, would be IT!! On the way, I promised God that if it came back negative, I would let it go finally and put this unrealistic and ridiculous obsession behind me.

Our God has a fine sense of humor! I walked in with huge trepidation and feeling as though my legs were made of jelly. As I walked up to the receptionist, I stated that I was here for the free screening. She looked at me in a very funny way and said (with a straight face),” the screening is for prostate cancer”. I replied,” I don’t have one of those”. To which she replied,” No I  would be very surprised if you did…”

Game over,.That was the end of that fear and God showed me just how ridiculous I had become and how I had let this fear consume me to the point of complete absurdity.

A year or two ago my daughter, who drives herself around, told me that I need to let go as she was leaving for the UK soon and I won’t be able to track her there. Driving in our country is dangerous and the drivers show little or no respect for other drivers on the road. This is a reality and as a mom, I do worry when she is out and about.

One night while waiting for her to come home, God reminded me of my own mother and the level of faith she demonstrated. I used to be a child who went out all the time, misbehaved, and loved to come home at all hours. In those days we had no cell phones, tracking devices, or Ubers! My mom used to sleep like a log until I came home and woke her up to say I had arrived. Not once did I come home to find her fretting, pacing, or waiting up for me. When I asked her many years later how she did this, her answer was simple.”I handed you over to the Lord, asked Him to protect you, and went to sleep”! I am still striving for this level of trust!

Thinking about it, I realize that my mom had the right idea! When Alexia is out and about, I cannot be there all the time. I cannot hold her back from age-appropriate activities and I cannot send a bodyguard to watch over her. What I can do is to ask my Father to command His angels to protect her and believe that He loves her enough to do so.

How much easier our lives would be if we simply learned to trust God, to realize that He is exactly who He says He is and will do exactly what He says He will do.

Fear’s acronym is False Evidence Appearing Real. Let’s focus on the fact that it is false and live lives controlled by the Holy Spirit and not by fear.